Twenty-Something, Single, and not Looking.

I catch flak at times for being 27 and seemingly uninterested in finding a woman. Guys, I assure you the situation is not as perplexing as it seems; I just have an innate inability to participate in superficial activities, and I can’t think of something more shallow than the mate selection process. More than any activity that comes to mind, mate selection shines light to a fact that I detest but can’t escape- we are animals, and the primary focus of an animal is to ensure the survival of itself and it’s seed.

The DNA of both men and women hunger to successfully secure a line of descendents, but the genders do so in a very different way. Women inherently want the alpha male. The alpha is larger and stronger than the other males to protect the female and children. The alpha is dominant, which leads to social status, and ultimately access to resources. Males primarily seek out beauty- facial and body symetry, wide hips, specefic amount of fat in the breasts and butt. It has been scientifically proven that women men are most attracted to (1) are more fertile (2) are more successful at birthing (3) have healthier babies.

National Geogrphic doesn’t have to go to Africa to watch and learn the social dynamics of animals- they just need to go to club while sober. Women walk around with their assets hanging out on display to attract suitors like a cat in heat. Men dress expensively and throw money around to look powerful, not to mention becoming territorial and fighting.

We put marriage upon some magical pedastal, but when we pull off the sparkly heart-shaped glasses we can see marriage for what it actually is for most people- A business deal. We are out to get the “best” we can for ourselves, and spend a significant portion of our lives shining up our flesh to ensure we get it. Men spend their entire lives making themselves larger. Whether that be physically in the gym, financially, or in social circles. Women waste hours every single day of their lives making themselves as attractive as possible through dress and makeup.

This does not mean I don’t want a wife- I value intimacy, marriage, and the concept of oneness. But what it does mean is that I am very particular about the way relationships develop in my life. I refuse to look at women as if I was selecting the highest quality farm animal from the meat market, and equally I have no patience for women with superficial vision for a partner. The only way I know of to avoid stepping into such a steaming pile of stupid is to patiently wait on God to deliver. So no, I’m not overly interested in finding a wife. At 27, I have plenty of responsibilities, ambitions, dreams, and friends to keep me busy until God has marriage for me.

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Instruments of the Lord

To whoever wants to hear, I received a very clear word from the Lord earlier this week.

I bought myself a classical guitar for Christmas this year, and have been practicing regularly. When playing classical style music, the guitarist is responsible for playing both the rhythm and lead simultaneously. Once skilled, a single guitarist can produce a sound which resembles that of multiple musicians. For a novice, it can be painful learning to keep the two separate streams of music separate yet cohesive.

Likewise, I feel God spoke to me very vividly that the majority of the church can be broken in to one of two groups- rhythm or lead. The rhythm must be very consistent throughtout the song, because it provides the pulse of the music. The lead plays off of the reliability of the rhythm, but is itself unpredictable, improvising outside of what was planned.

When God gave me this image, I was able to clearly see the source of much static within the church. At some point in most everyone’s life we find ourselves complaining “Why can’t other people be more like me?”, whether that be in consisitency, productivity, originality, spontaneity, whatever. We would be much better off appreciating the differences of one another instead of trying to pressure or shame others into being more like us.

Can you imagine how boring a song would be if the lead conformed itself to the contraints imposed on it by rhythm? Or how chaotic a song would be if rhythm was pressured into improvising with the lead? I pray God open our eyes to recognize which we and others are, that we might not conform to an unnatural role God did not give us, and also not pressure someone else out of their God given position. Each type needs to be playing from the sheet music God has given them to produce the sweet sound desired.